Inside Edition = Crap With Poop Sprinkles

I'm mentally flogging myself while I write this.  I'm upset at myself for not opting for an unlimited Netflix subscription instead of my current 2 disks at-a-time option.  I just completed the first season of Party Down and now I'm a victim of snail mail until my re-up of fresh DVD's arrive.  Normally this wouldn't be a problem, feed me some Sportscenter and a couple beers and I'm good to go.  But, I recently got into a fight with my cable provider and lost.  Now that I've been blessed with free network television (aka complete garbage) I tend to have it on in the background as I work on my computer.  Well...Inside Edition came on.  Wow.  That program is a huge pile of steaming sensational crap.  After about the third "breaking news" story I decided I needed to share these incredibly important headlines with you:

• Tucson Massacre Victim Temporarily Committed to Psychiatric Unit! Just long enough to not attend the President's State of the Union Address with the other victims; conspiracy anyone?

• Dancing with the Stars's Cheryl Burke has been hiding a dark secret...Enough said.

• Recent Appearance of Suzanne Somers Sparks Criticism! Ummm.  Shes had so much plastic surgery her face is about to fall off.  I can't believe this hasn't been covered before!

• Why is there a Grand Piano perched on a sand bar in the middle of Biscayne Bay?  Some Southern Florida hick is shooting a movie and he put it out there as a prop.  Good luck with that.  

• Why did this little girl burst into tears?  They previewed this story 5 times and this was the "story of the day".  It turns out the girl hates the Green Bay Packers and she starts crying every time she hears the words "Packers" and "Super Bowl" in the same sentence.  Cant blame her.

 I highly advise either turning the channel or throwing a brick through your television screen if Inside Edition ever comes on.  That show will make you stupider, I mean dumber.  Oh crap.  

The Most Amazing Press Release Ever Written

PR Professional Distributes Groundbreaking Press Release:

CHICAGO, Jan. 11, 2011 /PRNewswire/ -- Mitch Delaplane of PitchPoint Public Relations has issued the most amazing press release ever written.  While hundreds of press releases are distributed daily, Delaplane feels this particular release will go down in history as the most amazing press release that has ever been written.
"I've been in the business for over ten years and have to say, I'm speechless," claims Delaplane.  "The title alone grabs you and demands that it be read.  Then there's this quote that completely takes things to an entirely new level.  I'm proud of this press release.  In fact, I think it is [really] amazing."
Typically reserved for company news announcements and other public relations communications, the press release has long been the favored default for informing media about exciting, groundbreaking news.  Then this news release comes along and changes everything people thought they knew about press releases.
"I'm quoting myself again because the first quote didn't do it justice," says Delaplane.  "If you're still reading this news release, then you know what I'm talking about when I say it's something special.  In fact, it's 483 words of pure awesomeness.  When it crosses the wires, I believe history will have been made."
The science behind this Earth-shattering news release lies in its simplicity – no science, just pure old press release craftsmanship.  It started with an incredible brainstorming session that asked a very simple question: "what makes a press release amazing?"  Elaborate notes from that brainstorm were then formulated into mesmerizing sentences, paragraphs and pages...all expertly designed to make you pause and reflect at the brilliance of this press release.
Every single word of this news release was track changed, stetted, then track changed again to its original draft.  Upon final approval, it was spell checked, fact checked and printed for posterity.  The result is a two-page, 1.5-spaced news release that is like no other news release in existence.
According to PitchPoint Public Relations you have just read the most amazing press release ever written.  If you agree, tell Mitch at mitch@pitchpointpr.com or follow him on Twitter at Lifeisamitch.

Via: prnewswire.com